Demetri shares his latest set of low-key yet surreal observations on life and language, including: signs, pets, the origin of cheese, hot dogs, footballs, tandem skydiving, hamster-chucking, fitted sheets, elevator faux pas, prune juice, the aerodynamics of crackers, the quantification of educated guesswork, the tribulations of salads, the unique rejective qualities of volleyball, the sneakiness of color schemes, the general uncoolness of indoor sports, the management of fart jokes, the happiness of folks and nope, abracadabra versus please, business versus beeswax, parent/child resemblances in the alphabet, shoe store mirrors, expiration dates, and the proper temperature of regards.—statmanjeff