The majority of the film consists of Randy (Matt Dillon), Carl (Paul Reiser), and Dehling (John Goodman) reciting their experiences with Jewel (Liv Tyler), each narrating over what they consider to be the real version of the recent events. Scenes are often re-enacted twice, with different accounts contradicting each other. Randy believes he's an innocent victim in the whole story while Dehling thinks Randy is a slimy, macho, abusive thug. Carl is convinced that every woman is in love with him and he's a gift to all women.Randy, a bartender sits down next to Mr. Burmeister (Michael Douglas) at a bingo hall and recounts his story of how he got to where he's at. One night while working at McCool's, Randy apparently saves a woman named Jewel from her boyfriend "Utah" (Andrew Silverstein). Jewel claims that Utah tried to sexually assault her. Carl, Randy's distant relative (who just made partner at the 2nd largest law firm in the state. He is also married to Karen (Andrea Bendewald)) who was at McCool's that night, recounts to his therapist Dr Green (Reba McEntire) that he was sleeping off his drunkenness in his car and saw the altercation (he claims that Jewel came into the bar earlier, and that he saw her talking to her boyfriend when he got into his own car) but noticed Jewel put on an act afterwards to make Randy take her home (she didn't want to be alone and wanted to listen to music).After he takes her to his home (jewel is excited to see that Randy owns a large house, which belonged to his mother before she died) and they sleep together, Jewel reveals to Randy that she is a con-woman and Utah arrives shortly thereafter to rob his house. Unfortunately, Randy doesn't have many possessions, so Utah decides to have Randy open the safe at McCool's for its cash. During the robbery, Utah is shot in the head by Jewel and Randy takes the blame for her, claiming self-defense. Detective Dehling (also recounting the past events to his friend; Father Jimmy (Richard Jenkins)) investigates the matter accordingly but believes Randy isn't telling the whole truth.Jewel soon moves in with Randy at his house and begins to purchase new furniture and redecorating the interior of the house, much to Randy's chagrin as he lost his job at McCool's since the owner believes the reputation is worth more than what was in the safe. Carl invites Randy and Jewel over to his house for a barbecue and Jewel recites how she wants to decorate her own house one day. Carl watches in lust as Jewel gives Karen a neck massage.Also infatuated with Jewel, Dehling begins hearing half of an argument that Randy and Jewel have, causing him to paint Randy as an abusive, overly macho husband to Jewel, despite Randy's pleas that they are not. Dehling watches Jewel get all soapy when she washes a dirty car that she borrowed from her friend. With Randy not having a job and Jewel continually removing his stuff, save for the snow globes his mother collected, Jewel manipulates Randy to rob his former boss Joey (Leo Rossi) of some sports memorabilia and other items (while she distracts him by taking him out on a date).She later comes home with a different car, saying she was "borrowing it from a friend" and later they pull a scam on one of Carl's associates at his law firm. Unfortunately, the robbery doesn't go as planned (The guy Greg brings Jewel back to his own house, instead of taking her out) and Jewel is forced to kill him with a DVD player while Randy was trapped in a closet. Though they get away, Jewel and Randy continue to fight.Jewel is clear that she needs money to buy stuff, so she can live in a house that belongs in a magazine. Detective Dehling investigates the murder as he soon finds that Carl is related to Randy. Becoming more infatuated with Jewel and noticing a black eye on her (Greg had given Jewel the black eye when he tried to sexually assault her), Dehling forces Randy out of his own house and cites he'll put a restraining order on Randy. Randy notices Jewel smile from the inside of the house, realizing he's been scammed for everything he has.Dehling later comforts Jewel and they later have sex (Dehling had matched Jewel's fingerprints to the ones found at Greg's, but he was convinced that Randy forced her into it. When Jewel found out, she was very happy to have sex with Dehling). Meanwhile, Carl continues with his story that he believed Jewel came onto him at the barbecue he held with his family, Randy, and Jewel, which Carl was happy to oblige as he was having marital problems. Carl says that Jewel called her for help with some legal matters and he introduced her to Greg. They also had sex later, when Jewel came looking for help for permanent legal separation from Randy. Jewel throws Randy's snow globes out of the house. Jewel convinces Dehling to arrest Randy, for murder of Greg and for stealing a car (which Jewel had stolen).Back at the bingo hall, Randy finishes his story to Burmeister, and they both leave and head to a distant motel where Randy gives him $10,000 (which he borrowed against his house on Carl's advice) to kill Jewel. Randy calls Carl from the motel and says that he split up from Jewel. Carl is excited to hear this since he wants to experience sex with Jewel again. Arriving at the house, Carl puts on some bondage outfits while Detective Dehling arrives in his uniform with flowers.Randy is guilt ridden after paying Burmeister & tries to warn Jewel to stay away from his house. Jewel had already left work and Randy has to steal a car to make sure Burmeister doesn't kill Jewel. As they all converge in the house and an argument erupts with each person claiming to be Jewel's boyfriend, Utah's twin brother Elmo asking who killed his brother. Burmeister is watching from outside when Jewel catches him by surprise. Both infatuated with each other, the two decide to leave when Elmo fires at them and a shootout begins. Carl escapes on foot while both Elmo and Dehling die from gunshots. Randy survives unscathed (Jewel shoots Elmo just when he was about to shoot Randy and walks away) but steeps in the destruction in his house.Jewel gets in Burmeister's car which he tells her of his house, big screen TV, and DVD player; all things that she has ever wanted and leaves the last snow globe on the sidewalk before driving away. Carl continues his escape until he is nearly hit by a car, and he rejoices briefly before being crushed by a dumpster.